latest santa banta non veg (adult) jokes 2015
एक दिन बंता और उसकी पत्नी होटल में खाना खा रहे थे! और सामने संता बैठा हुआ था!
बंता की पत्नी ने बंता को मुर्गी की टांग उठा कर दी! यह देख कर संता एक दम से बोल पड़ा: अगर मेरी शादी हुई होती तो मेरी भी पत्नी मुझे टांगें उठा उठा कर देती! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- संता अपनी सुहागरात की आधी रात में ही पसीने पसीने होकर कमरे से बाहर निकलता है! बंता: क्या हुआ? संता: यार यह अकेले बन्दे का काम नहीं है! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Sex Karne Ki Jagha Nahi Mill Paati Santa: “India Mein 90% Log Isliye Sex Nahi Kar Paate Kyunki Unhain Jaga Nahi Milti” Banta: “Haan Yaar Tu Thik Kah Raha Hai, Maine Bhi Ek Baar Koshish Ki Thhi Par Mujhe Jagha Nahi Mili” Santa: “Phir?” Banta: “Phir Ladki Ke Khud Hi Bataya Ki Sex Karne Ki Jagha Taango Ke Bich Mein Hoti Hai“ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Apni Biwi Ki Gand (Back Side) Maar Raha Tha. Us Ki Biwi Chillaane Lag Gayi:“Aah, Aah Mar Gayi Main Nikalo Bada Dard Ho Raha Hai” Santa Gusse Se Bola Bola: “Aye Chalaak Na Ban! Mujko Pata Hai Kitna Dard Hota Hai“ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Ek Din Bada Confuse Sa Thha Aur Usne Banta Se Pucha Santa: “Yaar Teri Biwi Chalu Hai, Mujhe Hamesha Dekh Ke Muskurati Rahti Hai?” Banta: “Oye Nahi Yaar Esa Kuch Nahi Hai, Usne Mujhse Suhagraat Pe Puchha Tha,Kya Mene Kabhi Kisi Ki Gaand Mari Hai, To Maine Tera Naam Le Diya Tha“ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Banta Ki Shaadi Hui Aur Vo Apni Nayi Naveli Dulhan Ke Saath Suhaag Raat Manata Hai. Preeto: Piche Nahi aage Dalte Hain. Banta: Tuje Kaise pata? Preeto: Mera dost Mere Aage Se Dalta Tha. Banta: Chup Kar Mera dost Mere Pichche Dalta Tha. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Husband: Arey, Ye Defective Condoms Sofe Pe Kyun Pade Hue Hain??? Wife: Kyaaa...!!!??? Kahan??? Wife goes to find them and comes back angrily saying: Agar Tumne Phir Kabhi Hamare Bachchon Ko 'Defective Condoms' Bolna Nahin Chhoda Toh Mein Tumhari Jaan Le Lungi... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Ek Ladki Ki Bus Driver Se Shaadi Hui Dusre Din Jab Ladki Suhagraat Manna Se Room Ke Bahar Aayi To Uski Saheli Ne Poocha Saheli: “Kyu, Raat Bhar Jija Ji Ne Tumahri Bahut Mari Jo Tum Itna Akad Ke Chal Rahi Ho” Ladki: “Nahi Yaar, Wo Gandu To Bus Ki Brake Samajh Kar Raat Bhar Choot Pe Laat Marta Raha“ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Ek Bar Chatt (Roof) Se Girne Ki Vajah Se Santa Ki Gaand Fatt Gayi To Vo Mochi Ke Pass Silvane Gaya Silne Ke Baad Mochi Ne Usko 25000 Rs Ka Bill De Diya Santa Ne Usko 50000 Rs De Diye Mochi Ne Puchha: “Itne Jyada Kyu De Rahe Ho Bill To 25000 Rs Ka Hai” Santa: “Tera Bill Dekh Kar Fir Phat Gayi Hai“ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Ki Condoms Banane Ki Factory Thhi Ek Baar USA Se Order Aaya Ki 14 Inch Ke Condoms Bana Do. Santa Ne Socha: “Itne Bade Size Ke Condom Banva Ke America Wale Hamari Beizzti Karna Chahte Hai” Usne Apne Workers Ko Kaha: “Tum Condoms Ka Order Ready Karo, Aur Packing Wale Dibbe Pe Likh Dena, Medium Size“ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Ka Beta Pappu Usse Puchta Hai. Pappu: “Papa Ye Car Ke Peeche ‘L‘ Likhne Ka Matlab Kya Hota Hai?” Santa: “Beta ‘L’ Ka Matlab Hai Ki, Driver Ko Driving Ke Baare Mein ‘Lund‘ Bhi Nahi Pata“ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Banta: Why are you so tense? Santa: My wife needs some or the other reason for fighting. Banta: Why what happened? Santa: We both were excited and about to start having sex. She removed her top and jeans... I just asked why are you wearing your sister's bra... She started fighting! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Boy: I love you Airtel 4G Girl: Ye Lo Tumhara Bachha Boy: Ye To Cheating Hai Airtel 4G Girl: Cheating Nahi Yaar 4G Hai, Iss Se Fast Bachha Mile To Life Time Chodna Free! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Sante Ne Bante Se Pucha: “Oye, Tune Kabhi Life Mein Kisi Aurat Ke Boobs Choose Hai?” Banta: “Nahi Yaar, Kabhi Moka Nahi Laga” Santa: “To Bhonsdi KeKya Tu Apne Baap Ke Tatte Choos Ke Bada Hua Hai?“ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Ki Biwi Ek Din Uske Office Se Ho Kar Aati Hai Aur Uss Raat Santa Se Ladayi Karte Hue Puchti Hai. Biwi: “Tumhari Secretary Ne Sab Ke Samne Kaha Hai Ki Tumhara Lund Chhota Hai, Is Baat Ki Safai Do?” Santa Soch Ke: “Juth Boli Sali Wo, Sach To Yeh Hai Ki Us Kamini Ka Mooh Hi Bahut Bada Hai“ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa : Kal pehli baar maine girlfriend ki yaad bhulane k liye Sharab ki Botal ka Sahara liya… Banta : Phir kya hua ? Santa : Hona kya tha… Lulli fas gayi Bottle mein !!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Apni Wife Se Sex Karne Laga To Wife Ne Usko Bola Wife: “Sunoji, Aap Is Condom Se 15v Baar Kar Rahe Ho, Ab Bas Bhi Karo.” Santa: “Aye, Tu Pagal Ho Gayi Hai Kya? Ispe Expiry Date To August 2015 Hai“ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Naukar Se Bola: Tu Lalten Pakad, Main SEX Karta Hoon.. Naukar Ne Lalten Pakdi Aur Santa SEX Karne Laga..! Santa Biwi Se: Maza Aaya.? Biwi: Nahin.. Santa Ne Phir Koshish Ki Aur Phir Biwi Se Pucha: Ab Maza Aaya.? Biwi: Nahin.. Santa Naukar Ko Bola: Yeh Lalten Mujhe De, Main Pakadta Hoon.. Tum SEX karo.. Naukar Shuru Huwa..! Jab Kaam Khatam Huwa To Santa Ne Biwi Se Pucha: Ab Maza aaya..?? Biwi Boli: Haan Bahut Maza Aaya.. Santa Naukar ko Thappad Mar Ke Bola: Dekha Chutiye…. Aise Pakadte Hain Lalten.! |
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